Just to be clear, today wasn't one of them but I was reflecting :)
God has been very real to me lately. Who He is and how much He loves us. What He wants for us. The blessings He has for us.
The past few weeks it feels like He has been so close to me. I come with a question and a song or dream is there instantly. It feels like he answers as soon as I call on Him.
Yesterday as I sat and waited to hear what He had to say, there was nothing. I felt a little rush of panic. Wondering what I was doing wrong. Questioning if I was being to selfish.
The longer I sat the more anxious I got. Where are you, God? Why aren't you answering me?
Then there is was..."I'm here"
I had an overwhelming sense of peace. He didn't leave me.
This did make me stop and think. I was starting to take it for granted that when I come to God, He answers right that second. That isn't how He always works thought. Am I willing to seek His face? Am I willing to trudge through a long day? Suffer through a hard time knowing that the answer will be there in time? Can I trust that he will never leave me even though He isn't answering?
Learning to have patience.
It is probably the most hard thing for me. I am good in the now. I can deal with the now. If we need to do something, lets just do it and be done. But waiting, knowing that its coming, but you cant do anything with it yet is hard.
I look at the person I once was. I'm not her anymore. God has changed me, molded me, he is refining me. You know what the best part is? He isn't done! He will continue to work in me. (I'm sure that those around me are super excited about that :)
Thank you Lord, for taking the time to fine tune me. So that I can be exactly what you have envisioned me to be. For never giving up on me!
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