One step at a time.

  Ever have one of those days where you just feel like you can't take one more step? You live for that clock to tell you it supper time. Nap time. Or any time other than the time that it actually is. I have had so many of those days it isn't even funny. 

   Just to be clear, today wasn't one of them but I was reflecting :) God has been very real to me lately. Who He is and how much He loves us. What He wants for us. The blessings He has for us. The past few weeks it feels like He has been so close to me. I come with a question and a song or dream is there instantly. It feels like he answers as soon as I call on Him. 

   Yesterday as I sat and waited to hear what He had to say, there was nothing. I felt a little rush of panic. Wondering what I was doing wrong. Questioning if I was being to selfish. The longer I sat the more anxious I got. Where are you, God? Why aren't you answering me? 

   Then there is was..."I'm here" I had an overwhelming sense of peace. He didn't leave me. This did make me stop and think. I was starting to take it for granted that when I come to God, He answers right that second. That isn't how He always works thought. Am I willing to seek His face? Am I willing to trudge through a long day? Suffer through a hard time knowing that the answer will be there in time? Can I trust that he will never leave me even though He isn't answering? Learning to have patience. 

  It is probably the most hard thing for me. I am good in the now. I can deal with the now. If we need to do something, lets just do it and be done. But waiting, knowing that its coming, but you cant do anything with it yet is hard. I look at the person I once was. I'm not her anymore. God has changed me, molded me, he is refining me. You know what the best part is? He isn't done! He will continue to work in me. (I'm sure that those around me are super excited about that :) 

  Thank you Lord, for taking the time to fine tune me. So that I can be exactly what you have envisioned me to be. For never giving up on me!

Counting it all JOY!

  Early this morning, the kids were talking and laughing. I thought they were being a little on the loud side and I was on my way to tell them that. I rounded the corner to the kitchen and there, in a little circle, in the middle of the kitchen floor, were my three little men. Hanging out, eating some breakfast. All three turned and smiled and in unison said, "We're telling stories!" Then they all burst into laughter. Pure and simple. I forget to see the joy in these little moments sometimes. I was ready to scold them for being to loud. I was reminded this morning that it doesn't have to be some big amazing thing for me to find joy. 

  I need to grab on to those little moments and be truly thankful and blessed by each one.

Learning How to Follow

  "Up from the ashes, your love has brought us. An army of dry bones is starting to rise! Death is DEFEATED and you are VICTORIOUS! God you are ALIVE!!! To our God we lift up one voice, to our God we lift up one song."

   This is the song in my heart this morning. God is doing a new thing in me. He is removing the box that I have him in. He is moving. He is calling me to lay down "my stuff", to show the lost and the hurting how much he loves him. 

   How often do we as Christians, shoot ourselves in the foot. We fight with each other. We take our eyes off Christ and try to "fight" the war on our own. Not our job. We need to fine tune our listening skills. That is so hard for me. 

   Jesus, today I ask that you would move. That you would show me where we need to surrender. Give life to the dry bones so that your army can rise. Bring me into your presence and revive me. Show me just a glimpse of your glory. I know that if I just touch the hem of you garment I will feel your life flow through me! You are glorious! Move me, change me. Make me so on fire for you those around me cant help but ask, "What does she have? I need that!" Go before me. Where you lead I will follow! Amen

Be Still

  Today I find myself rushing around. Try to catch up. It was a busy weekend and I didn't get much of my "daily work" done. The laundry and dishes are piling up. The layer of dust needs attention. The crumbs on the floors needs to be vacuumed. Plants watered, time with my youngster (Who just informed he that he is a super spy. Trying to find the "cookie girl", whose locked in the "shrimp room", I have to pause to laugh).  

  Many things to do and very little time to get it all done. I just feel myself rushing rushing, cant seem to catch up. I say kind of a prayer while I rush around. "God help me to get this done."

  To my surprise he didn't make me move at warp speed but instead his soft and still voice whispered, "Be still, Colleen, and know that I am God". 

  Wait....WHAT! I stop rushing. Is that you Lord? Did I hear you right. "I am the Lord that leads you. Be still and know that I am God" Sigh. I realize I  haven't even invited him into my day. I didn't ask him what he wanted me to do today :( 

  God knows my heart and that is why he is reminding me. I want to be totally sold out for him. That means that if he wants me to do something or go somewhere, that is what I want to be doing.

  He wont barge in. He waits to be invited. God will lead if I am willing follow. To give him my time and talent, is the only way for me not to waste it. If I am willing to be used by Him, He will do wonderful things!