A Heart Full of Thankfulness!

  You know, I hesitate to post because I don't feel like I have something amazing to share. Then I stop and think. Sometimes joy and encouragement come from just the day to day things. Even if I don't think there is a "big lesson" to share, I can still put the every day thought out there :) So here it goes.... 

   Today, this weekend, is a great time to be thankful. For Jesus, for family, for friends. For the fact that we live in the USA. I just want to take a little time to really share a couple "I am thankful fors" :) 

   1. I am thankful that I serve a God that is HUGE! He is so much more merciful and gracious than I will ever know. He loves me more than I deserve and he will NEVER leave me nor forsake me. He chose me. Called me by name. He gently leads me. He always has a plan B cause he knows there is a pretty big chance I will botch plan A. He never fails. He never sleeps. He never pulls away. He always longs to be close to me. He always longs to hear from me. He will always be someone I can count on, turn to, run to, fall on. I don't have to worry about letting him down, I wasn't holding him up in the first place. (He has to gently remind me of this time after time) He is amazing and loves me, even in my imperfections. 

   2. For my hubster. John is the most amazing man! I cant imagine a better daddy for our boys. He has pretty much every quality I said I would never have in a husband, but I think that was just God showing his sense of humor. He is quiet and funny. He is strong yet so kind. He is compassionate even if he tries to hide it from time to time. He loves little children and it melts my heart to see him interacting with our boys or nieces and nephews (who am I kidding, pretty much nephews, since we have only a couple nieces) and our friends' children. To see him pick up a little baby and start talking in that little voice. Or kneel down and talk with a little toddler. Just makes me fall a little deeper in love! He loves me and I see it. He takes care of us in a way that no one else could. He goes above and beyond. He isn't perfect but he is perfect for us! For me :) To be totally cliché and a little sappy "He completes me" (I just had to) :) 

   3. For my boys. I don't know anyone else that can make me laugh like they can. Being a mom has changed a part of me that nothing else could have changed. They challenge me, for the good and bad. They are sweet and sensitive. I love that they all have such different gifts and personalities. I love that they all love in a little different way! They are all so different yet they all come together with John and I and we make one perfect (very loosely using the term "perfect") family. 

   4. Family! Who can forget all of them :) They can be crazy, encouraging, frustrating, irritating, challenging, honest, funny, uncontrolled, obnoxious. Just to name a few. They know me for who I really am. They see beyond my walls. They care about my hurts and my trial. They walk with me in joys and in pain. They pray me through the hard times and send up a big "Praise Jesus" in the good times! They are honest when I need to hear truth. They are more than I deserve. 

   5. Friends. I can honestly say I have been given above and beyond my allotment of friends. I pretty much feel like most of what I just said above for family can be said in this category to. I love my peeps :) My ladies. You all know who you are. We've laughed, cried, laughed again (prolly cried again to :) ) Girls night to relieve stress, ladies groups to encourage and challenge each other. Phone calls to stay connected over miles or just cause we are moms and cant get together. So you stand at the sink and do some dishes and tell the mom on the other end how life is going. Till your neck starts to get sore and you have to hang up and go get a massage (lol, I wish, on the massage part). 

   6. Health. Sickness seems to be everywhere. Lots of that can be aided by the medical profession but not always. We have been so blessed with health. Logan had a bit of a rough start but I praise God that he has a plan for Logan! For all of us! 

   My challenge for today, ask God what I am overlooking. What am I taking for granted in my life that I should be truly thankful for. Big, small or other, I want to acknowledge the blessing in my life! I want to have a heart of thankfulness!

Redeeming Love, Come just as you are!

  Selfish. Prideful. Sin. It's so ugly. Now what? 

 

  We all know that we have these things in our lives. Maybe not a lot. Maybe not even more than a little. Does that really make a difference? Can just a little sin be ok? 

   Now this is not a blog to make you feel guilty. Just the opposite. This post is to remind myself, and whoever else takes time to read it, that there is a wonderful redemption. All we have to do is rise up and grab onto it. 

   What keeps us from doing that? Why don't we reach out our hands? Surrender our pride? Let the walls we built around our hearts, long ago? You know the walls I'm talking about. The one you started constructing when you didn't even realize that is what you were doing. Every time someone made you feel like you will never add up. Then that voice in your head. You know the one I mean. The broken record saying, you aren't chosen. You aren't lovely. You are never going to be worthy. 

   In steps redemption. In comes our one true knight in shining armor. He paid so dearly. To show me and you just how chosen, how lovely, he thought we are. It wasn't easy. He gave all. 

   At church a theme we have going is pride and selfishness and God wanting to do a NEW thing. I sat in the service yesterday with this very heavy heart. Feeling almost hopeless. I was asking God what he wanted from me that I wasn't giving. Asking if I would ever be good enough to have him love to. Ever be the daughter he longed for. Do you know what I heard him say. He spoke to my heart and he said, "You always have been." Can I really believe that? Can I trust that he loves me? 

   Last night, I was having a hard time going to sleep (which hardly ever happens to me). I started to pray. I was asking God why its so hard for me to let go and trust Him. I had the coolest dream. I was in the clouds. The sky was black but there were all these stark white clouds. All at once there was this bright white light shining between the clouds. All around me. Then I saw Jesus walking toward me. Not his face, because the light behind him was so bright that he was just a dark silhouette. Just as I was getting close to him he vanished. Along with the light and it was completely dark.

 

   It was so real I almost started to cry. I felt so lost and alone. Then God said, " You wont give all, cause you think that's the kind of father I am. I will never leave you nor forsake you" 

   Then the light was back. The light was so bright, there wasn't darkness anywhere. This time I could feel warm arms around me. There was a peace and a calm the washed over me. It was a perfect night of sleep! 

   Redemption is here! I don't have to do anything for it. Its free! I'm free! He set me free! 

  Can we truly take that in? Ask God to show you where you are still holding onto things you need to let go of. He is gentle and loving. He will shower you with love and grace. Come as you are.