Dont Blink!

  I was looking through some old pictures on my computer tonight and was really missing how simple life seemed to be. This is in July of 2010.  Only 2 years ago but look at my sweet little boys.  They are just so little.  Life was just SO different.

  Logan was only 5. He was just going to start kindergarten.  He has always been the leader.  I see now more than ever, he is taking on the roll as protector.  He likes structure and knowing what is going to happen.  He is open and honest.  He is fun and loves to connect with people.  He has a soft heart towards those that don't seem to have as many friends.   They just had grandparents day at school a few weeks back and one of his friends didn't have anyone come.  He was so sad for him.  I could see that it hurt him to watch his friend feel left out.  To feel like he wasn't special.
  Logan is not without fault but he is full of compassion and love.  Energy all the time.  Wisdom when I least expect it.  He is an above and beyond miracle! He only has half of a physical heart but his emotional heart is bigger than most.

 Asher was just the age to start the Tuesday/Thursday preschool.  He was only 3.  He didn't want to go yet so he stayed at home with Connor and Mommy.  Asher is my quiet and VERY comical son :)  Not that the others aren't funny but Asher has that dry and blunt humor that has you laughing for days as you think back on the things he says.  He is soft spoken and quiet.  You have to ask him what he is thinking.  I have to make a conscious effort to not over look him.  He is sweet and fun.  Gentile and kind.  He doesn't get angry easily. He is a friend to all.  He is very fun loving and carefree.  He can also be very aloof :)  He adds so much to our family.  He is the peacemaker and is always looking for ways to smooth things over between others.  He is now in kindergarten and is reading and understanding more than I am ready for.

 
  That brings me to little Connor.  In the picture he was only about 20 months or so.  He is now 4!  Hello!  How did that happen?  My baby is already is preschool.  That means that I have 2 days a week that all my boys are in school.  They are all out in the world!
  Connor is a little spit fire.  He lives life to the fullest.  He has a smile on his face and he goes full throttle from the time he gets up till the time he goes to bed.  He is joyful and silly.  He is not afraid to be loud and express himself.  He loves to play and he is over the top creative.  He plays using more imagination that I have ever seen from any child.  He can pick up anything and pretend that it is the world's best toy.  Honestly, if he dosent have anything to play with, he will just use his hands or pretend he has something.  He is detailed and thoughful.  He likes to be close to me.  He may not say one word to me but he likes to be in the same room.  He will lay in the kitchen with toys while I am baking.  He dosent want to help but just be close to me.  He is a little cuddler.

   All of my boys love me but they are all Daddy's boys.  They cant wait to see him at the end of the day. These 3 little boys light up our life.  They bring joy and fun. Frustrationa and God uses them to stetch us every day!  I cant imagine life without them.  I am blessed above and beyond anything I could have ever imagined.  

  Just to recap, yesterday my boys were babies and today they are young men :)  Don't be mistaken, I love the stage of life we are in.  I wouldn't change where we are in life for anything...but looking back, I am afraid to go to sleep tonight.  I fear that when I wake up in the morning I will have 3 teenage boys.  I am trying to find joy in the moment and peace amidst the chaos.  Soon I will have a whole blog funny stories and sayings from my imaginaive little men, untill then.....

Taking Back America...not another political campaign.

  This is the day we have all been waiting for.  I personally couldn't wait for it to get here.  Not because politics are interesting to me but because I am so tired of the incessant calls, posts and mail.  Telling me who I should vote for, why I should vote for them.  Why I would be stupid to do anything but what they were telling me.
  While I think that we as Christians need to do all we can to fight for the morals of this country, I am not 100% convinced that voting is the only or best way to do this.  I am not saying don't vote. (All of you extra political peeps out there settle down and hear me out) I am just challenging you.  Why stop there?
   Why do we not stand for moral issues on a daily basis?  Do you refuse to watch a Tv show that promotes moral wrong?  Or, do you watch it and say nothing?  When asked what you think do you state what you believe no matter who you are speaking to?  Or do you sugar coat it a little so that it wont hurt their feelings?
  Why is it, that we are surprised that we, as a nation, are in the situation what we are?
  Do we really care about where our country is headed?
  Do we truly believe that the only way that this country will see change is through this election?
  Or is it possible that true change will come to this country when Christians stand up and start acting like Christ.  We stop fighting the world.  We speak biblical truth in Love.  We let the holy spirit work in us.  We let the Holy Spirit world through us. We allow ourselves to be his vessel.  We sacrifice out rights as humans and start thinking more about our spiritual responsibilities.
  We start loving like we should.  Talking like we should.  Walking like we should.  We start walking the walk. You know what I mean, the one that we have talked about for years.  The one that we use to judge others wrongdoings by.  The one that we get from scripture.
  We say that we want a president that is Godly and moral but what percentage of us is Godly and moral? Do we require that of our family?  Our friends?  Our pastor?  Our community? Ourselves?
   Are we going out into our communities? Are we trying to seek out those that are hurting?  To help them find peace and healing in their lives?  If we don't who will?
  If you were the only Jesus someone would ever see, would you say that you gave them a good or bad picture of who Jesus is?  If you are the only one that will ever love that person, will they ever feel loved?
  Yes America needs an overhaul, I totally agree.  I do NOT think that it is going to start in the white house.  It is going to start in the hearts and minds of God's people. You and I.  We have to want change enough to BE it!
  This world IS NOT our home people!!! We have an amazing Savior, who is in heaven, preparing us a mansion.   Who gave all!  He was the atoning sacrifice.  This world is so not what we are fighting for!  We will never be happy here.  Never have the perfect country.  Never have a president that is totally honest.  Never have a life free of pain or trials.  We are not fighting against flesh and blood but against rulers of the darkness of this world. Ephesians 6:12 
  I encourage and challenge you to really look at your life.  Who are you?  Who do you want to be?  Are you walking how you want to or how God is leading you?  Are you living a life of sacrifice or of selfishness?
 

Crazy about Us!

  Think back to when you were a kid.  What are some of the Bible stories you remember? There are so many stories that I "know" but only parts of.  Only the parts that really show how amazing God is.  The parts that my Sunday school teacher or curriculum had picked to share with us.
  Now that I am a little older and I am reading back through these stories I see how the details are so...I don't even know the words to use. They don't seem to make sense. Let me explain.
  Lets start with Abraham. He and his wife, Sarah want a baby so bad. Sarah can't have one, so what does she do.  "OH, here my wonderful and loving husband.  Take my servant and have a baby with her."  WHAT!  (I know that the culture was different then and multiple wives and all that were OK but really!)  Now, look at Mr. Abraham's response.  "Oh well, OK honey, if you insist" (obviously my words not his, but this is what it boiled down to)   If he love God and God speaks to him.  Why isn't he asking if this is something he should be doing?  Needless to say he has babies with ladies that are not his wife, Sarah.
  Even after this God does bless them (Abraham and Sarah that is) with a son, Isaac. Abraham sends a servant back to their home place to find a wife for his son, Issac.  God sends an angel to go before the servant and pick the lucky lady.
  As a child or teen, this is so romantic.  A match made in heaven.  Our minds wonder off.  They will have it so good.  It will be so amazing. It has to be, their story made it into the bible after all. Well that's misleading!
  Isaac finds and married Rebekah.  They have twins....Jacob and Esau.  Yep you know them.  Mommy (Rebekah) loved one, Jacob. Daddy (Isaac) loved the other, Esau.  Do you know the story? Rebekah, the woman that God lead Isaac to, manipulated and lied to her husband.  She cheated her son, Esau out of his birthright.  She all but said I love Jacob more than you.
  As a mom today, that wouldn't/doesn't fly.  It's not OK to lie to your husband.  To trick him into things.  To choose one child over another.  Yet the story remains in the bible.  Why?
  Over and over in these stories are times when the wives, that these men love and feel God telling them to be with, can't conceive.  The wife feels so bad. They tell their husbands to go out and sleep with other women.  When the other woman has a baby, the wife hates the other woman.  She is jealous.  Why are these stories in here?  What is it that we are to learn?
  These men look like fools.  Or at least to me they do.  When your wife feels like she is failing you and offers you her maid, a beautiful young girl, to take her place, what should your answer be?  I'll tell you, "Honey, I love you so much.  God has said that we will have more family than we can count.  You are  more than enough for me.  I don't want any other woman."  Guess there is a reason I didn't write the bible.
  OK, lets move on to Jacob.  He loves Rachel. He goes to her dad and says," Sir, I will work for you for 7 years.  Then you give me your daughter Rachel to marry."  Deal.  7 years go by. He gets the man's daughter. Not Rachel.  What does Jacob do? Wait and work for 7 more years for Rachel? Yes, but in the mean time he keeps daughter #1, Leah. Confusing, right?  As a kid this story was so wonderful.  He worked 14 years for the woman he loved....but where does that leave Leah?
  How did these girls feel? These SISTERS feel? Leah knows she is only to "tide him over" till he gets the one he really loves.  And Rachel is just sitting and watching as he makes a home and family with her older sister.  Really?  Is this really something that is supposed to be in the bible?  These are the men God is blessing.
  Honestly the more I read the more I tilt my head to the side and say "huh"?
  As I ask God to show me why these details are in these stories. I feel him saying.  My chosen ones.  The ones I love have never been perfect.  The husbands were passive.  The wives were sneaky and controlling.  There has always been dishonesty, lust, anger.  I still chose to send a sacrifice.  I still chose you!
  There are a few definitions of the word crazy, it depends on how you use it.  Here are some of the descriptions. "senseless, impractical, intensely enthusiastic, passionately excited, very enamored or infatuated."
  In our very human minds God's love for us doesn't make any sense.  It isn't something we can explain.  He is crazy about us.  He tells these stories so that we know we are normal...whatever that is. Imperfect and totally helpless.  He knows that we make stupid decisions.  He understands that we aren't going to always understand His ways.  Still he paves the way.  Sends the only truly perfect sacrifice and says "I love you, please, don't forget that I am totally crazy about you"
  Lets not forget that in claiming this amazing sacrifice, comes much responsibility.  To share that with others. To live it out in our own lives.  To be more than just the Sunday Christian.  Doing more than just the minimum...lets be crazy about Jesus Christ, cause he is CRAZY ABOUT US!

A Holy Sacrifice

    At church our pastor has been talking about sacrifice.  What do you think of when you hear that?  Sacrifice?  Well, let see....giving up the things I love.  Going that extra mile (possibly dragging my feet the whole way.) Is there anything positive when we think of sacrifice?  

  

  Honestly, I know that as a "good Christian" I should be saying "Oh yes, I love to give, I would happily give anything God asks me to." Reality is, I think that we all are afraid to really seek what God has for us sometimes.  Why? We are afraid what it will cost us. Will it be to great?
  

  We like to live our comfy little lives.  You know, do what is on our life goals list and check it all off as we go. Get married. CHECK! Get good job.  CHECK! Have a family. CHECK!  Is that bad? Not necessarily.  Is it good? Hmmmm, not sure it is.
  

  What if one or more of these things take more time than we thought.  There is no "CHECK." Who's list is it?  Do I need to reevaluate?
   

  Satan knows where in our lives we are  missing those check marks.  Then he uses people and circumstance to take his evil little thumb and push on those sore spots and really make us squirm. We settle for the boyfriend that isn't really someone we want to be with.  We compromise our values.  Lie just a little.  Decide that maybe a little nudity in a movie isn't that bad, I'm an adult, I can handle it. Saying a word that is less than desirable is ok when I am REALLY upset.   All the while we are allowing Satan to crack the foundation of who we are in Christ.  

  If Jesus was standing beside us would we let that word slip out?  Would we be embarrassed to watch that movie with him? Would we want him to see the man/woman that we chose to give a piece of our heart to? 

   So what do I do with all this? Do I need to rebuke the devil?  Our job is not to send Satan back where he belongs but to claim the victory we have in Jesus! " I am a daughter of the king!  If you have an issue with that you can go talk to Jesus about it." Bet Satan will flee at the very name! Isn't that wonderful!
  As a daughter of the most high I am filled with Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Gentleness, Goodness, Faithfulness and Self Control.  These will be the fruits of my spirit and I  will not allow him take them away!
  I often feel that I need to focus on defeating Satan at his game and in reality, Jesus already did that.  I don't need to talk to Satan.  I just need to repent of the sin and claim the characteristics that I now possess as a "new creation" in Christ Jesus.  Let Jesus fight the battle.  The battle is won.  He never asks me to fight a battle on my own.  Why?  He knows I don't have the strength on my own to win.  I need him.  I forget that.  How do I forget that?  

  Satan tricks me into thinking that I need to deal with all my "stuff" before I can come to God.  The truth is, I can't deal with my "stuff" UNTIL I come to God.  When I come and lay it all down, he restores me.  Makes me better than I was before!
 

   Jesus wants us to come just as we are and offer our lives. We are the sacrifice.  Jesus devoted his whole life to telling everyone he saw about his father in heaven.  He was willing to be called a liar.  He was willing to be beaten.  Nowhere in my bible does it say that he stood up for himself.  He didn't call them unfair.  He didn't try to challenge the scoffers in a court of law because he was being discriminated against.
  

  Jesus went to the cross and for each and every man woman and child said, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do"  He died so that I could live.  He suffered so that I could be free.  He gave all.  Yet I still hang onto the "stuff" I seem to hold so dear.
  

  What if we gave all?  What if we all could see ourselves through the eyes of Jesus.  To have just a glimpse of his plan for us.  

  Would I regret giving all?  Or would I find  myself blessed beyond measure.  With faith that could move mountains.  The touch of my hand, healing the sick and making the blind to see? Why do we sell ourselves short?
  

  Jesus wouldn't have given his life for someone that wasn't worth it.  He gave his life, so that we in return, would show the fathers love to others.  He isn't asking us to sacrifice anything more than he already sacrificed for us.
  

  Who could ask for a better daddy than that?!  He sent a savior before we ever even knew we needed one!

Passions or Callings?

So, here is a question.  What is the difference between being passionate about something and having a call to do something? Is there a difference? Recently there are some things that I really feel strongly or passionately about. I would love to pursue them but...then there is my calling in life right now...my family. My children.
  Do I really think that I am supposed to be moving my focus out of my home right now?  Right now I would say "NO" I dont feel the ok today to take steps on moving my focus to things that will take my attention off of my family and my role as a stay at home mom. 

 Do I think that God can use the things I care deeply about to move me toward what he is calling me to do later on? "Yes"  I do think that the Holy Spirit stirs in us to make us seek him and the plan that he has for us.
  I had a vision, well, a dream, that I feel was God given a while back. It makes me both excited and nervous to think about it.  I pray about it often.  I know that this particular thing will not happen while my children are small.   But the dream encouraged me,  God has a plan for me.  He has a plan for me way bigger than I would ever dream for myself.  Honestly he has more for my family than I can imagine.
  God knows that when my family and I follow after him, he will be glorified.  Would I want to walk outside of his plan for my life? Absolutely not!  That would contradict what my whole life is about.
  So here is my encouragement.  If you feel like there is passion in your life, start praying about it.  If God takes it that next step farther and say hey, this is my calling on your life.  Don't sweat the small stuff (or big stuff, depending on the calling).  Put one foot in front of the other.  Keep asking God for help, reassurance.   If you run into a locked door, ask God to show you the windows.  Pray for peace and guidance.  Put stupid ole Satan in his place (back in the pit of hell) and keep living your faith out in the day to day.  You never know what circumstances or people God will use to unlock those doors or possibilities.
  Honestly there are many times that I wonder what God was thinking when he allowed and called me to be a mom.  I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for the world.  I also can have little tolerance and become annoyed at the little things.  I like to have fun but I am also a person that is a bit cut and dry.  No means no and there is a right and wrong.  Obey the first time and no one gets hurt. Why would he ask short fused, low tolerance, selfish me, to be a mom?
  So here it is.  I raise my boys the best I know how. (Please make no mistake, I am writing this with the word "I", but I don't parent alone.   I am staying singular in my wording ONLY because I am talking about the things God has been prompting in me )  Because that is the "main" calling God has on my life right now.  The things that I do and say, instill in them now, will help shape and form who they will become.  If I model a person of Grace and Faith, Passion and Wisdom, I pray they will see those thing and search for that in their lives to.
  My children have a calling on their life also.  Some for now and some as they are older.  Who knows how many "callings" God has for each of them, they are pretty amazing little boys you know. :)  So my "mother calling" is going to impact the calling on their lives in the future.
  The calling(s) that I can see in my future will make my life look very different. I can freak myself out a little if I think about all the things that will have to change and transitions. The things that will have to happen over time to make any of that happen.  That is where faith and trust come in.  I know that God wont take me into the desert, flop me down and leave me there to die.  He might take me to the desert but he will provide manna and a fresh water stream.

  What are the passions in my life?
*Marriage, not just mine but other peoples' marriages.
 * Teens, oh my goodness, I would love to work with teens.  They are fun and carefree.  Even the troubled teens just want someone to come along side them and say "Hey, I love you no matter what.  Tell me what's going on".
*I would love to go into some form of psychology. Working at a pro life organization (like http://www.informedchoicesclinic.com/ ) that really helps women/couples work through hard stuff.  
  I want to feel like my life is helping someone else.  I want my children to understand now that it is important to think of others.  To live their life in such a way that others see Jesus in them.  How can I teach them when I have to learn to do this myself?
  What is Truth saying?  I have you here for a reason.  I will carry you when you cant go on.  Learn to love yourself.  That's where we have to start.  (You can't sell something to someone else that you wouldn't buy yourself.)  Then love the ones that are right beside you...then keep expanding.  I cant do everything but I can do something.   
  Passions can be dangerous.  Satan can use them to distract us from the "Calling" God has for us right now.  Passions can also be wonderful.  Leading us to a "Calling" we never even imagined God had for us.  Dont let your box be to small...ask Jesus to help you see outside of it! 

Sadness, laughter and faith

  Yesterday was a wonderful day.  Family all together.  Celebrating the fact that my grandparents have been married for 54 years!   (Some family also is here from out of state so that's always a good reason to get together also.) We had a good time.  A fun time.  A time of making memories and laughing.

    It was getting late and I hadn't taken time to go talk with my grandpa.  So I made my way into the living room where he was sitting in his chair watching the Olympics.    I watched him struggle for the most basic human necessity...oxygen.  My nose started to tingle a little.  I knew that if I didn't try and think about something else I was going to start crying.  I didn't want him to see me cry. I'm strong, I'll hold it back.
  I asked him how he was doing.  He didn't reply, just kept focuses on his breathing.  He looked around as if trying to find something.
 I said,"Do you need something Grandpa?"
 He said,"Yes, a new life" very nonchalant.
"You're ready for Jesus to give you those new lungs?"
"YES!"
"Did you ask him?"
"I ask him often.  I dont care if it here or there but I'm ready whenever he is."
 In my mind, I was 13 all of a sudden.  Walking into the bathroom in our old farmhouse.  Patrick was sitting there with an inhaler in one hand and doing everything he could to just say, "I...cant...breath."  I was helpless then and I am still helpless.  I couldn't help Patrick and after all this time I have no new knowledge on help someone whose lungs aren't working.  Which means that I cant help my Grandpa either.
  It shouldn't be this way.  It isn't fair!  I want to stomp my feet and throw a fit.  I want him to be healed.  I don't want to see him struggle...so that's what I say.
"Grandpa I'm sorry this is so hard for you.  It makes me sad seeing you struggle so hard."  Now I have tears trickling down my face.  I still try to hide them.  Brushing them away as quickly as they come.
 His response, "Well Colleen, its just going to get worse."
 It hit me like 10 tons of bricks and I couldn't hold any of it back.  Tears started streaming down my cheeks and he just went on, you know, as if I wasn't sitting there blubbering on.
  "We know Jesus went to heaven to prepare us a mansions and when its ready he will come to take us home."
 I know that!  Does he think I don't?  No, he knows I do.  This is just his way of telling me that he's ready.
  I know that everything I am feeling is very selfish.  I have know for most of my life that Grandpa's lungs were slowly getting worse. Now that it is bad enough to actually mean we may have to say good bye  makes me so sad.
 For my Grandma, who has devoted most of her life (54 years today) to him and over the last 16 years taken on the title of nurse.  She selflessly gives of herself and cares for him.  She stays by his side and makes him feel safe.
 For my mom and her siblings, I cant imagine at any age loosing one of my parents.
 For my children.  Grandpa isn't just a Great Grandpa to them.  He is someone they love and ask to go see.  Someone that they know is going to call them girls and laugh when they correct him and tell him "We AREN'T girls, we're boys!!!" Someone that always has a handful of m&m's or Reese's pieces for them when we are leaving after a visit.  He isn't just a Great Grandpa.  He is much more.
  Then for me.  I know that he doesn't always agree with me or the decision I make.  But he is always there to talk with me about it.  He was always up for a game of dice...but you will learn quickly, he always wins.   I remember one game of rook.  I was his partner and I was nervous.  I didn't want to mess up his game with a stupid move so I tried to just follow his lead.  Well people, He shot the moon and we both went down hard.   lol.  I was just glad it was him and not me :)
  When Logan was in the hospital for his last heart surgery, Grandpa and Grandma took Asher for a pretty big chunk of time when Mom and Lanae were both working.  I know that Asher and Grandpa have a little extra tight bond.
  One thing that I will always admire about my Grandpa is that he wanted us to learn from his mistakes.  I remember going through algebra about the same time Grandpa was studying to take his GED.  He told me many times.  Do good in school.  Work hard.  You'll be happy you did.
  As sad as I will be to have to say "See ya later"  I am very blessed to know that my Grandpa loves Jesus.  He will be in heaven having wonderful time till we can all come and be there to.
  Thank you grandpa for who you are, not that you're perfect, but you will openly admit that.  I know that you have helped make me who I am today.  I love you so much!

Seeing clearly...
  Today I took Connor to the eye doctor.  Everything looks wonderful!  I did have one question for the eye man :) No matter how much I work with Connor he just dosent seem to understand colors.  While playing a game like Candy Land or UNO he does very well matching colors.  When I test him randomly by saying "Connor can you find the blue one?"  He may get the right one or you may pick yellow, green and red first.  It is very frustrating.  To me and him!  So with one little 30 second test Dr Jensen said well, yes Colleen, he  has a problem with greens and reds.
  Well, that isnt really what I wanted to hear.  I want him to see colors clearly.  Colors add so much to life.  Color is something that we, the ones of us that can see them, take for granted.  Why can I see all colors but Connor can't?
  Well this all lead me down  a slightly deeper thought path.  Where in my life and I "color deficient"? We all have our struggles.  We all have a weak area in our life that we choose to gloss over.  I call those a "pet sins".  I may not see them.  Not that I wouldnt know that they are there but I have lived with them for so long that they are just something I am used to.  Have they always been there?  I dont know.  Do you have one?  Or a few? What would they be?
  Someone on the outside can look at me and see very clearly where or what mine is but my "color deficient" spiritual eyes cant seem to pick it up.  I have made the changes in my life that make it ok for my little "pet sin" to stay and not cause problems.  It isnt hurting anyone else.  It is something I can keep to myself.  No one will know.
  The problem is, I am a child of the King.  The princess has no secrets.  The King knows all.  Sees all.  Expects that we give all.  That means that we can't just give him the part of ourselves that we deem worthy.  He wants all of us.  Our mind, out heart, our hurts, our dreams, our passions, our thoughts.  He want to make sure that they align with all that he has for us.
  Why are we so quick to hide everything?  Do we really think that God isnt seeing those things?  He knows us better than we know ourselves...right?
  What is it that we are afraid of? Sacrifice?
  You know, God has never asked us to step out in faith where he wasnt willing to go also.  He walked the path of loss.
  God loved me so much to asked his only son to leave heaven.  God sent him to earth.  He asked him to live like a human.  Then he asked him to give his life on earth so that I can live for eternity.  Not only me but all mankind.  What a wonderful father.
  Then look at Jesus.  Talk about a man that could feel rejected.  Imagine you are in heaven, and your dad says,"Hey, I need you to go to earth.  It is going to be really hard.  People are going to be so mean to you.  They are going to spit on you. Lie about you.  Use you.  Beat you up.  In the end you will hang on a cross and they will crucify you.  You will suffer, A LOT!  I need you to do this for the human race.  So that they can come spend eternity with me"
  Jesus is amazing. He not only came and did all that BUT he did it with a happy heart.  He wanted to die for us.  He not only willing came and died but he begged God to forgive his murderers.  "Forgive them father, for they know not what they do."
  So can I clean out my spiritual closets?  God is challenging me.  How about you? Can you give him your burdens?  You pain? Shame? Pride? Self hatred? Can you lay it all at the feet of Jesus and in return let him fill you with truth.  He will replace all that old crap for his new mercies each day.  Fruits of his spirit!  Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control.
  Are we willing to trade in our tired old color blind eyes for ones that see crystal clear?  Can we renew our lives and let Jesus heal parts of us we never wanted to admit where there?  
 

First off...

  I sit and look at this very white and brand new blog spot.  I know that everyone has to start somewhere and sometimes its the hardest to gather your thoughts and really get started.  Once you get going you can gain momentum. Every "new thing" has challenges.  Every "new thing" has an element of excitement.  Every "new thing" takes time to get used to.  Every "new thing" has a purpose.  Something to teach us.  Discipline? Patience? Perseverance? 
  I am not blogging to inspire.  I am not blogging to gain hundreds of followers.  I am blogging simply so that I can put down on paper, well put out in cyber space, things that God is doing in my/our life.  Things that God is speaking to me about. So that I can look back and say, yes look where he has brought me.  If inspiration comes, great! If there are people that want to follow, that's great to.  
  I don't claim to be a great writer. I'm not someone that always uses "real words".  Honestly I might just add "est" to the end of another word and call it a day.  I like to laugh and I like to see others laugh. I enjoy getting to know new people.  To walk with them and connect in a non-superficial way.  I feel like when we walk with Jesus by our side we can share that with others.  Our life, happy, sad, frustrating, or other can encourage others.  To hear that someone has been through something similar to you can give you hope that there is an "end" to each trial.  Or to know that someone that seem to have it all, also goes through trials, can just make you feel a little more "normal".  
  I can be opinionated. I may sound harsh, I may say things that not every one will agree with.  All I have to say to that is. If you don't agree, pray about it.  If God isn't saying the same thing to you, that's OK.  But maybe, just maybe, I can sharpen you and you in return can sharpen me, or the other way around.  
  And Finally, my children, and I may be just a bit bias here, are very funny.  They say and do things that are stinkin funny and cute.  So if nothing else I am going to post fun tid bits of life at our house.  Cause not every lesson that we learn has to be super serious but can come from the mouths of our babes :)  Cause didn't Jesus call us all to be like children?