Do I really think that I am supposed to be moving my focus out of my home right now? Right now I would say "NO" I dont feel the ok today to take steps on moving my focus to things that will take my attention off of my family and my role as a stay at home mom.
Do I think that God can use the things I care deeply about to move me toward what he is calling me to do later on? "Yes" I do think that the Holy Spirit stirs in us to make us seek him and the plan that he has for us.
I had a vision, well, a dream, that I feel was God given a while back. It makes me both excited and nervous to think about it. I pray about it often. I know that this particular thing will not happen while my children are small. But the dream encouraged me, God has a plan for me. He has a plan for me way bigger than I would ever dream for myself. Honestly he has more for my family than I can imagine.
God knows that when my family and I follow after him, he will be glorified. Would I want to walk outside of his plan for my life? Absolutely not! That would contradict what my whole life is about.
So here is my encouragement. If you feel like there is passion in your life, start praying about it. If God takes it that next step farther and say hey, this is my calling on your life. Don't sweat the small stuff (or big stuff, depending on the calling). Put one foot in front of the other. Keep asking God for help, reassurance. If you run into a locked door, ask God to show you the windows. Pray for peace and guidance. Put stupid ole Satan in his place (back in the pit of hell) and keep living your faith out in the day to day. You never know what circumstances or people God will use to unlock those doors or possibilities.
Honestly there are many times that I wonder what God was thinking when he allowed and called me to be a mom. I love my boys and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I also can have little tolerance and become annoyed at the little things. I like to have fun but I am also a person that is a bit cut and dry. No means no and there is a right and wrong. Obey the first time and no one gets hurt. Why would he ask short fused, low tolerance, selfish me, to be a mom?
So here it is. I raise my boys the best I know how. (Please make no mistake, I am writing this with the word "I", but I don't parent alone. I am staying singular in my wording ONLY because I am talking about the things God has been prompting in me ) Because that is the "main" calling God has on my life right now. The things that I do and say, instill in them now, will help shape and form who they will become. If I model a person of Grace and Faith, Passion and Wisdom, I pray they will see those thing and search for that in their lives to.
My children have a calling on their life also. Some for now and some as they are older. Who knows how many "callings" God has for each of them, they are pretty amazing little boys you know. :) So my "mother calling" is going to impact the calling on their lives in the future.
The calling(s) that I can see in my future will make my life look very different. I can freak myself out a little if I think about all the things that will have to change and transitions. The things that will have to happen over time to make any of that happen. That is where faith and trust come in. I know that God wont take me into the desert, flop me down and leave me there to die. He might take me to the desert but he will provide manna and a fresh water stream.
What are the passions in my life?
*Marriage, not just mine but other peoples' marriages.
* Teens, oh my goodness, I would love to work with teens. They are fun and carefree. Even the troubled teens just want someone to come along side them and say "Hey, I love you no matter what. Tell me what's going on".
*I would love to go into some form of psychology. Working at a pro life organization (like http://www.informedchoicesclinic.com/ ) that really helps women/couples work through hard stuff.
I want to feel like my life is helping someone else. I want my children to understand now that it is important to think of others. To live their life in such a way that others see Jesus in them. How can I teach them when I have to learn to do this myself?
What is Truth saying? I have you here for a reason. I will carry you when you cant go on. Learn to love yourself. That's where we have to start. (You can't sell something to someone else that you wouldn't buy yourself.) Then love the ones that are right beside you...then keep expanding. I cant do everything but I can do something.
Passions can be dangerous. Satan can use them to distract us from the "Calling" God has for us right now. Passions can also be wonderful. Leading us to a "Calling" we never even imagined God had for us. Dont let your box be to small...ask Jesus to help you see outside of it!
I love this post. It's such an interesting topic. As I approach motherhood, I cherish the experiences and wisdom from mothers who have dealt with questions like "what is my purpose?...should I be doing more with my life right now?...is it ok that my children take up ALL of my time?"
ReplyDeleteI love that God has given you a glimpse of what could be in your future but that you are still very committed to your present calling.
oh, this is Rhonda btw :-)
Deletethis is a great outlook, Colleen, a great resounding amen! our blog's unofficial name is "Embracing the Journey" because even though God gives us dreams and visions beyond what we could imagine for ourselves, there is usually a whole lot of preparation, growth, struggle, and change that comes before all of that. watching God do his thing in us and with timing is just SO FUN (mostly, not always, haha, sometimes just after the fact) anyway, I'm happy that we are a part of each others journeys =)
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